Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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