If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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