im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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