So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Fuck appropriateness.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Randomize
