who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
You are the jesus of drinking
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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