what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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