You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
