those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?†This is time sensitive.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
