Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize