If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
