And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
