BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
the liver wants what the liver wants
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize