just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
OPIZZABONMYDICK
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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