I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize