I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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