When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
