Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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