God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize