I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
