i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Randomize
