i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
