it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
