it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
