yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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