that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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