Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
