And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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