I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
