It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
