Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
