He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
