well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize