its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
