I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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