I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
