Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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