He is such a slut. More and more my type.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
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