at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
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