Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize