I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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