i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
