Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
it was like eating out sand paper
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
