The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
