uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
someone owes me an orgasm
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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