remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
