The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
