if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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