The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Randomize
