Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
