The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
