this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
All the doctor said was why
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
