I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
