he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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