Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
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