Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize