i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Randomize