I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Still dying that you shit outside
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Randomize
