the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
