so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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