This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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