new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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