All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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